"Am I, actually, an INTJ?"
I believe roughly half (likely more) of ENTJs mistype due to this simple trouble and get to believe they are INTJ or INTP instead.
ENTJ, the stereotype of the leading commander, loud mouthed, opinionated, present at every possible networking event in suit & tie, owner of 382193 successful businesses by age of five, unemotional blunt tyrant who WILL step on your dead body to get what they want and they WILL get it.
Except, in reality, this rarely happens.
My personal experience with ENTJs shows that many of them fall rather in what you'd call "introvert" - which many believe themselves to be, for a long while.
Can they really be introverts?
From the MBTI point of view, no. An MBTI introvert means having the primary, dominant cognitive function introverted: Ni, Fi, Si, Ti.
...but the ENTJ has Te - Extroverted Thinking.
The ENTJ is primarily based in objective reality, in the outside world, which makes them orented towards the material, tangible rewards: money, belongings, status, security.
From this point of view, they are decidedly extroverts, because of their external orientation.
However, if we are to relate them to how social they are (you know, the typical idea of going to parties, being a social butterfly, feeling deprived after short time without no intense socializing)
...many will prefer alone time, seldom going to parties or get togethers where people just 'hang out" and as charming and socially gifted as they can be in the art of conversation, ENTJs are bored to death with small talk and will wish they were home doing something else instead of going through such experience.
They might keep silent for long periods of time in such social gatherings that do nothing to spark their attention and might not understand the general hype over trivial subjects, gossip, celebrities and others such. Very likely that with time, they will gradually lose interest in even bothering to join such gatherings and self-label as an introvert for it.
What is going on?
The ENTJ might not necessarily wish they were home trading stocks or starting a new business, but just want to do their own thing. In the more developed ENTJs, this will likely mean pursuing their goals further and working on their passions instead of "wasting time" in what they see as pointless socializing.Their secondary function, iNtroverted Intuition, makes them interested in subjective ideas, inner thoughts and concepts and it is not a "social" function, but instead has a highly personal importance. This is the function responsible for making the ENTJ uninterested in trivialities and things with no essence. This is the function that will say: "I'd rather be doing X thing, being here is nonsense".
This will also likely drain many ENTJs after prolonged social interaction, where they did not get to do what they really wanted.
In this way, many ENTJs will, throughout their first part of lives especially, put a label of introvert on themselves and leave it at that, since they cannot possibly be extroverts with so little interest in constant socializing, right?
How can one know they are not, actually, INTJs?
The easiest way is to look at the cognitive functions of both and understand the differences, particularly at the primary and the inferior functions.
- Are you having bigger trouble with emotions or with physical clumsiness?
- Are you constantly outsmarted by your inner bursts of feelings or by common house appliances?
-
Are you more likely to abruptly, coldly end relationships with others only to find yourself in intense, debilitating internal mourning after some days (surprise!) or to confidently get in a group sport activity and find out you can't even skip rope?
The ENTJ dreads emotional turmoils because they typically do not know how to handle them aside from tossing them under the rug and pretending they're not there. Picture an undertaker who would drag a screaming person's body in a coffin, close it shut, the screams can be heard no more but the coffin is shaking in attempts of escape. While the undertaker sits on top, pretending nothing is going on. This is how ENTJs typically handle their feelings. Some issues may be resolved this way, but sometimes, what's in a coffin might haunt them as a zombie.
The ENTJ will, however, likely have a good grasp of technology, might be able to repair and handle electronics, will be able to understand how things work, is likely to be a sportsy person and be very good with balance, on their feet and they are decent with maps.
The INTJ has a gentler approach to their emotions, are more in tune with them since their Introverted Feeling function is tertiary, not inferior. However, they are more likely to encounter significant challenges with everyday tasks, they might not be able to make the difference between a blender and other kitchen appliances and might end up burning them. They might not be able to figure how to turn on the shower at someone else's house if the mechanism is different, or might be found pushing a door that is labeled "pull", or get hopelessly lost in their immediate neighborhood or on their way to the closest grocery store, even with careful maps planning. Attention to physical details seems to be their biggest challenge.
Are you more likely to abruptly, coldly end relationships with others only to find yourself in intense, debilitating internal mourning after some days (surprise!) or to confidently get in a group sport activity and find out you can't even skip rope?
The ENTJ dreads emotional turmoils because they typically do not know how to handle them aside from tossing them under the rug and pretending they're not there. Picture an undertaker who would drag a screaming person's body in a coffin, close it shut, the screams can be heard no more but the coffin is shaking in attempts of escape. While the undertaker sits on top, pretending nothing is going on. This is how ENTJs typically handle their feelings. Some issues may be resolved this way, but sometimes, what's in a coffin might haunt them as a zombie.
The ENTJ dreads emotional turmoils because they typically do not know how to handle them aside from tossing them under the rug and pretending they're not there. Picture an undertaker who would drag a screaming person's body in a coffin, close it shut, the screams can be heard no more but the coffin is shaking in attempts of escape. While the undertaker sits on top, pretending nothing is going on. This is how ENTJs typically handle their feelings. Some issues may be resolved this way, but sometimes, what's in a coffin might haunt them as a zombie.
The ENTJ will, however, likely have a good grasp of technology, might be able to repair and handle electronics, will be able to understand how things work, is likely to be a sportsy person and be very good with balance, on their feet and they are decent with maps.